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  • artax


  • jamie

    The INGLORIOUS FOODIE Poetry Award

  • cellar door


  •     At the risk of sounding like a broken record, this was an amazing short list. Eleven high quality entries that tackled the theme in a variety of poignant and often funny ways. From a washed up comedian to a dead cat to a hungry patron with a strange phobia the short list was […]

  •   We got fish and chips on the beach and Camilla was there because she didn’t want me to be the only one having fish and chips with the boy she cheated on her boyfriend with. Freddy. That was the boy’s name. Every night she would come home and lie on the fish-scale mess of […]

  • You consider me a prude. Yes, I do have a fear of contamination. You will insist that it is a fear of contact, intimacy, eruption, and I will insist that it is not. How well paired we are. I rehearse what I am going to tell you, as I trip-skip across the road. I will […]

  •   The man unfolded his hands. A mouse sat content in his palm, a grey mouse with small crystalline eyes. The two little sparkles shone with a black brilliance in his palm. ‘I started out with this one.’ He husked ‘I found it on the kitchen bench, years ago, eating from the fruit bowl, mangled […]

  • Pete walked into the kitchen holding Fluffy like she was a dead cat. ‘What’s wrong with Fluffy?’ I asked. ‘She’s dead.’ ‘She can’t be,’ I said. ‘I saw her five minutes ago pigging down cat food.’ ‘Yeah. And two minutes ago she was sleeping under the front wheel of my car.’ ‘You’re joking?’ ‘Yes Jeff. […]

  •   Disordered and slipshod. Unprofessional and slapdash. Damien’s efforts were rooted in kindness as he pulled and jerked at the still warm skin of the kangaroo. Occasionally he paused to wipe the organic filth from between his fingers through his hair and over his thick side burns like a butcher’s apron. This carcass would be […]

  • Ah, welcome, welcome, dear visitors. Welcome to the Hunter’s Lodge. So nice to see fresh faces again around this place. Let me introduce myself, I am Mo, Head of Decorations here. I’ve had this position for over fifty years already. Yes sir, that is a long time! I have seen the place change, seen the […]

  • Eleanor analyzed the child as she plucked away at the threads. Stab, weave knot, pull. Stab, weave, knot, pull. Perfect precision. Her mother, Iza, brought her here three months ago after her father, Jer-ome (Iza put furious, consistent emphasis on “ome,” enough so that Eleanor wondered if this was indeed how his name was pronounced) […]

  • “It ain’t right yet. Seems like there’s something missing. I just ain’t worked out what yet. What do you think?” I shudder. “It’s gruesome enough. Does it have to be quite so…bloody?” A smile crawls slowly up his face, never quite reaching his eyes. “Hadn’t pegged you for squeamish. It’s only nature. You know…red in […]

  • Step 6: Find a friend to support you as you go through the difficult process of overcoming your phobia. Having gone through WikiHow’s first five steps it is time to move on to working through my de-conditioning regiment list. I have been dreading this moment, but my outgoing, blond friend Joy is happy to have […]

  •   Sitting in the back of the archetypical sunny yellow cab, hurtling down the Long Island Expressway, Harold took an inventory of his strongest opening lines. It was either the one about getting stuffed or the one about getting mounted. They were both pretty dirty—almost on par with the inside of the cab he was […]

  • First up a big congratulations to our winner… By a single point… Alayna Cole! Alayna’s only been entering for a couple of months and after making her first short list last time round it’s great to see her story,  Stolen Property, on the winner’s podium. Congrats! It was another tough contest with some interesting interpretations […]