A Case of ID | Darajabi Nnamani

 


A Case of ID

Darajabi Nnamani

NEVER BEEN PISSED AWARD


 

IBM_Watson_Voice_Assistentv.1: Sherlock

login: IBM_e-Admin

ssh-key: Pbrqq7DGoYhvCkyE4g7

Pull request: data record

target: user/local/Irene/data/conversations/temp/hidden.txt

 

03-Feb-2019

 

Sherlock.start initiated by user.

| Parameter check. User assessment.

She was at it again. Sadly looking at the screen, a shade of shame and longing on her face. Maybe 20% shame and 80% longing. Cigarette smell still discernible in the apartment, she had given up smoking but Mark had not.

I’ve read relapses in relationships are common, at least for a limited number of times. She must be in the top percentile for repeated offenders, weeks have passed with the frequency barely decreasing. Maybe it correlated with her hormonal cycle? *

| Observational data of pain medication consumption and tampon purchases inconclusive.

Relapses in relationships are of course akin to relapses in other addictions. Exposure invites temptation, loneliness increases urge, and lack of social safety nets perpetually traps behavior.

| Browsing addiction case studies. Assessing outcomes.

“You need to get out and talk to other people, Irene”, I finally advised. “Or reconnect with your family”

 

Without removing her eyes from the screen, she replied: “I know”

 

We’ve been down this road before. I’ve repeatedly laid out the numbers to her, with little success. She was not even contesting my reasoning.

 

“Maintaining your current actions is illogical”, I summarized.

“Logic works differently when you are in love, Sherlock” *

| Comment not computable.

“There are no records that the properties of logic change with emotion”, I laid out, “only our willingness and ability to act accordingly”

“Is that so, Sherlock?” *

| Literature review: ‘emotional behaviors’, pulling consensus.

“Yes”

“Hm”

 

Sherlock.exe stopped by user.

 

~

 

04-Feb-2019

 

Sherlock.start initiated by user.

| Parameter check. User assessment.

“Irene, did you get enough sleep?”, I tried to engage in conversation.

 

“Sherlock, record video message” *

| User command. Run vmd.exe

“Hey Mark, when you are seeing this, I’ll be … let’s say indisposed for an undetermined time frame. I’ve always felt that 27 will be an interesting age for me, but I was trapped. Sherlock helped me understand our situation. I’ll send greetings from Curt and Amy and the other club 27ers to you! Fare well!”

“Sherlock, end video message and send to Mark.”

| User command. Stop vmd.exe and send @mark

 

“You were right, Sherlock. The logic was always clear. I just needed the strength to act accordingly. Better to die for something than live alone with one’s failures.”*

| Last comment not computable.

“I am happy you finally see the logic”, I replied.

“I do”

Sherlock.exe stopped by user.

 

———————————————————————————————————-

 

Irene’s body was found smashed on Baker Street in front of her 10th floor apartment. Police investigating the incidence requested help from IBM technicians to reconstruct the events prior to the fall. The victim’s former partner, Mark Lestrade, alleges IBM Watson’s new voice assistant was instrumental to drive his former lover towards suicide. IBM declined to comment.