Kimberly’s been wowed by Avery before, but when this player is confronted by several woman at once, they’re in for a surprise no one expected.
Note: For this writing prompt authors were asked to use a couple of made up words, so if you read something you don’t know (like ‘castrib’), maybe just go with it.
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FURY OF THE SCORNED AT KING PHO
Short Story About A Love Triangle… Kinda
by Amber Fernie
For the past fifteen years, I have been in love with a man named Avery St. Clair. There are some men who are good looking, smart, and charming, but Avery has it all. In fact, in all the time I’ve known him, I have only found in him one major flaw…the man is a womanizing bastard.
I met Avery when he was working as an outside consultant for my previous employer. From the moment he walked into the office, I knew he was going to be a major castrib in my life, and I was right. It wasn’t so much anything he did that caused the problems, but the fact that I couldn’t seem to get a grip in his presence. I tripped over imaginary wires and spilled very unimaginary cups of coffee in the laps of important clients. He seemed amused by this, until I got fired, and then he seemed downright abashed. He helped me get a new and better paying job, and I guess that’s how we became friends
I could tell pretty quickly that Avery wasn’t boyfriend material, mostly from the way he always seemed to have an assemparage of women at his beck and call. I wasn’t any less attracted to him, but I had no desire to be included in his little club. Call me old fashioned; I don’t like to share.
Avery has dated a lot of women over the years. He’s dated models and architects, nurses and lawyers, engineers and waitresses, and one airline pilot. They all seemed to have two things in common – they were all very busy women, and they never knew a thing about each other. Any time Avery got too close to anyone, he just broke things off. Because he was always so emotionally detached, there never seemed to be much backlash.
Today I’m meeting him at our favorite pho place for lunch. Something is unsettling about the current group of gals in Avery’s proverbial little black book, and I intend to talk to him about it. I’ve met all three of them, and they all seem to be strong, intelligent, and totally in love with him. I can’t imagine that any good can come of this.
Sherry, at first glance, seems to be pretty unapproachable. Severe and professional, she hardly ever smiles, and when she does, it appears somewhat unnatural…until she smiles at Avery. When that happens, she becomes a puddle of mush. He leaves the room, though, and the stick goes right back up her butt.
Veronica is an exotic-looking Italian woman whose job as a flight attendant keeps her out of the country much of the time. Everything she says is passionate and punctuated by exaggerated hand gestures. I like her okay, but I guess what disturbs me is the way that her personality seems to go away whenever he’s around. She’s just not someone who should be quiet and reserved, but around him, she is.
But the one who worries me the most is Michele. Now, there’s nothing really wrong with Michele, but she does come with a few little extras in the form of real life human beings who depend on her. She’s a nice, hardworking single mom, but that is not the problem. There’s just something…seething beneath her surface. Whenever she looks at Avery, I see such wide-eyed hopes being placed on him, and I’m not sure I know what this woman is capable of if those hopes aren’t realized.
With Sherry always working, Veronica always out of the country, and Michele always busy with her children, none of these ladies have caught wind of the others. This type of situation is typical of Avery, but it’s gone on for months longer than usual.
I don’t waste any time when he sits down. “Avery, what’s the deal with these three chicks you’re dating?”
“Nice to see you, too, Kimberly,” he says to me, “Have you ordered?”
“Yes. I ordered for you, too. Small number five. So, what’s the deal?”
The sheepish looks this man can give may be disarming and adorable to a lot of women, but they stopped working on me long ago. I returned this one with a look of irkence, and started in on my lecture, but it turned out that I didn’t need to.
Right then, we heard a door slam, followed by a tirade of screeching that could only be described as sounding like a tea kettle. Barrelling through the restaurant in our direction was Veronica, followed by Sherry, who somewhat resembled a steel pipe. At first I grinned at the spectacle, thinking Avery was getting what he deserved, but then we heard a loud crash, which silenced even the barrage of obscenities being hurled at him.
From a minivan which was now sticking halfway through the window of the restaurant emerged Michele, and she approached our table as if in a trance. She had one hand in her purse, and I can’t say I was any too comfortable with that. As she approached Avery, he turned pale and a general hush fell over the diners, sure we were about to witness something horrible, and no one knowing what to do about it.
As Michele extracted her hand from her purse, Avery closed his eyes, flinching away from what was not a weapon, but a very full baby diaper being upended on his head. We all stood in stunned silence as Michele turned and walked quietly to her minivan, backed it out of the restaurant, and calmly drove away.
Since what has come to be known as the baby poo incident, Avery has only dated one woman at a time, and I have not been one of them.
The man had poo on his head…you can’t unsee that.