5: The Bible (Revised Progressivist Version)
The RPV is thinner than previous versions but it’s still pretty thick so it’s nonetheless suitable as tinder or a dust-collecting paperweight. This modernized translation by Bishop Ferulci includes more vernacular and slang, a popular version by a popular man who’s advocated innumerable progressivist liberal reforms in and outside of the church.
4: Magical Cocktails of the Galaxy
The Lunar City Times calls this “the most complete cocktail recipe collection in the galaxy” and, for once, we agree with them. With over 6000 cocktails—including one with Martian Gin sprinkled with fizzy dust from Farian 7—you’ll never have trouble getting as wrecked as an overloading hyper-drive. The holo-version comes with hi-res slow-mo demos in case you’re already too plastered to read.
3: When Two Or More Beings Luv Each Other Vewy Much
Endorsed by the United Earth Education Board with its policy of mandatory sex-ed for children from the age of three, this picture book gives all the information a curious child can ask for. The first section shows every position imaginable involving one human male and one human female. The complexity increases in subsequent sections, including multiple humans, animals and androids. There’s even a section about taking advantage of peculiar locations, like those famous variable-gravity rollercoasters on Pervius 6.
2: Dody Dick
Advertised as a rewriting of Melville’s classic, this epic narrates the struggles of a trans-straight white whale, one who underwent a female-to-male sex change in order to be with another whale who previously made a male-to-female alteration. The two also cop much abuse from drunken sea lions trained by space rangers. Author Rainbow Wiseman called this her “magnum opus”, having spent six years on it while living on steamed organic marrows and medical cocaine.
1: Dominance Game Guide (Addict’s Edition)
A most comprehensive game guide, listing all 15 million star systems with in-depth discussions on gameplay mechanics and playing styles: political, economic, military, societal infiltration and corruption etc. A must if you want to compete seriously with the 8 billion registered players. Published by The Uranus Journal, UE$559.99 (special price).