joeyt

A Science Fiction Short Story by Joey To for the I/O M/F/? Award A Preliminary Study On Inter-Xeno Marketing People require amusement and this fact is never lost on two major types: (1) those who demand toys and/or entertaining games and; (2) those who profit from the manufacturing and distribution of said toys and games. The popularity of Live-Action Role-Playing (LARP) games have been increasing across the galaxy, always involving participants from different worlds. Terrans [T], Orcs [O], Dwarves [D] and Elves [E] are the four main races interested with 99.6% of all recorded LARP games hosting all four races. However, despite the relative increase, participants are still low. Efforts have been made by various organizations to form leagues to attract new players whilst others have attempted to manufacture and …

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From: [SCRAMBLED] To: [email protected] Subject: RE: Employment Application 7214 Date: 14:16, 21.10.2025 Dear Mr Hayward, Thank you and your staff for granting me the opportunity of an interview last week at your Los Angeles office of Galactic Security Solutions, especially given your initial reluctance due to my age and relative inexperience in field operations. I appreciate your time and was most impressed by the building and its facilities; in particular the computer systems, the training decks and even the toilets. However, I must admit I am a little baffled by your decision to not avail yourselves of my services. I did state clearly that I can be very flexible with my time despite my other commitments which I believe to be highly advantageous in the field of security services. I …

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Dad, I never skimp on garlic. Yes I know garlic is awesome. Do I need more onion? Yes mum, more onion would be good. Can you get them please? No problem, I’ll get them from the garden myself. By the way, is this for the stuffing or the Solomon Grundy? I’ll take that nod as yes to both. Onion onion onion. Ooo, rosemary, thyme, basil and parsley. Better get them too. Wow, the chillies are coming along nicely. Here we are. This is how you peel an onion and this is how you dice one. This is how you put it in the mortar. Not a glass one. No porcelain either. Has to be a stone mortar and pestle. Has to be heavy. Has to be solid. This is how …

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5: The Bible (Revised Progressivist Version) The RPV is thinner than previous versions but it’s still pretty thick so it’s nonetheless suitable as tinder or a dust-collecting paperweight. This modernized translation by Bishop Ferulci includes more vernacular and slang, a popular version by a popular man who’s advocated innumerable progressivist liberal reforms in and outside of the church. 4: Magical Cocktails of the Galaxy The Lunar City Times calls this “the most complete cocktail recipe collection in the galaxy” and, for once, we agree with them. With over 6000 cocktails—including one with Martian Gin sprinkled with fizzy dust from Farian 7—you’ll never have trouble getting as wrecked as an overloading hyper-drive. The holo-version comes with hi-res slow-mo demos in case you’re already too plastered to read. 3: When Two Or …

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From behind the counter, Harry slides an empty cup towards Rob. “Morning. Scrambled eggs with bacon and toast?” Rob nods. “And hash browns please.” The waitress pours steaming black coffee into the cup. “You hardly ever have that.” “Need the energy to work on that new picket fence of yours, right?” says Harry as he grabs the bowl of egg and cream mixture from the fridge underneath the bench. Rob smiles and glances at the television in the corner. It’s showing the news as usual, something about some president reminding everyone that his country still got plenty of nukes. Harry shakes his head. “Crazy bastard.” He ladles the egg mixture into the pan. It hisses. “Hey, doesn’t your grandson have a test today or something? He doing well?” “Yeah, they …

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The master caution alarm blared. Michaela’s eyes ran across the cracked panoramic screen, the schematic blinking: hydraulic fluid leak in the right leg actuator, 5.7mm gun damaged … not good. And her mech was on its side. Also not good. She tapped the screen. The alarm ceased, the crack propagated another inch. Great. She winced as she pried away the panel which pinned down her right arm. Michaela held her breath and listened. Nothing. And as far as she could see: concrete columns, beams and manholes; overhead, multiple levels of road arterials stretched in all directions, disappearing into the distant black. The usual. She huffed, thrust her feet against the pedals, gripped both joysticks and gently pulled back, bringing her mech up onto its feet. Quietly. Or as quietly as …

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Mr Türöffnung clenched the steering wheel at the nine and three o’clock positions as he eyed the red light. None of this ten-and-two-o’clock crap. That was for hacks. Even through the closed windows, the winds howled. At least it wasn’t raining. The overhead power lines swayed while the stars and moon shone. He glanced at the clock on the centre console which read 21:13, then back at the red signal. This was to be the last job for the day. He could have waited til tomorrow if he really wanted to but his client didn’t mind the relative lateness. And besides, customer satisfaction and security was Türöffnung’s life. He sat, nice and warm, in his van at the intersection, watching the green light glowing at the perpendicular direction but there …

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