To Mars With A Blast | Joey To

Budget cuts… Again!

To Mars with a Blast!

By Joey To

For The Get Your Ass To Mars Award

TITANIA STATION (Uranus Journal) – The Editor cut the budget for this travel column. Again. Of course, he rushed off after the announcement. As for me, options were few for this month’s article. We can’t trust the reliability of GHOST Engineering’s gate networks even if their prices are affordable. As for gen-4 hyperdrives, one may as well burn creds as fuel given their recent engine efficiency “problem”.

So I went to Mars for two weeks! True, it’s a hole but it’s not that bad. And packing light is the way to go.

Creds – Leave your card at home. Merchants deal in cash and ask no questions. Don’t ask them any either.

Holo-recorder – This is the one item which is a rip off there so BYO. The newly discovered ancient trans-dimensional travel artefact is definitely worth exploring and recording. (Just don’t record everything you do.)

Pilot’s License – Hire vehicles. Avoid taxis because those pilot-droids are nuts.

Polymer Baton – Sneaking firearms onto the transport is almost impossible but you’ll need something for self-defence against punks. Its internal storage space is useful too.

Gloves – Level-4 protection is recommended against the harsh environment and to leave no fingerprints (for ID thieves).

Hacking Attachment – Make sure you have one with your comms unit. It can hack locks, takeover taxi control processors (in case you need to), jam hackers/trackers and add another lock to your hotel room.

Personal Shield Generator – The type powered by your comms unit will suffice. It’ll protect you against most impacts.

Now go have a blast!


We regret to announce that this column will be suspended indefinitely. Our Editor has vanished and our regular contributor just decided to extend his leave. The former was last seen touring a Martian archaeological site in a taxi. Please contact authorities if you have any info.