We flush your crap straight into space.
by Joey To
GLX-23TM is the latest mall in the GLXTM chain, the first in the Delta Quadrant, situated at the newly commissioned Port 23 of the gate network.
It is also the first GLX with our innovative Dynamic LayoutTM. After all, a mall is a mall but there’s nothing like a continuously changing layout to keep you intrigued or drive you nuts or both!
Is this new Dynamic Layout safe?
Yes! The mall has numerous sections controlled by electro-grav drives with multi-layered redundancy.
Our wall, floor and ceiling surfaces will not project directions except during emergencies. Have fun!
Won’t I get lost in GLX-23 if the floors keep shifting and changing?
According to our research, the chances of getting lost are no higher than any other mall of comparable size. So, enjoy the experience!
What if I or my children need the toilet quickly?
Walk faster. There are plenty of toilets.
With so many toilets, how do you handle the pipework in a shifting structure?
We don’t. We flush your crap straight into space.
A weirdo in a black cloak holding a scythe is following me. What do I do?
GLX is an equal opportunity employer and we value diversity. This individual is our highly capable Chief Operations Officer (COO).
Is there a map of the mall?
Holo-maps are available at info-hubs throughout the complex. It reflects layout changes in real-time. You can also access the map on your mobile devices.
Remember: if you do not access the map during your visit, you will receive free parking!
Does GLX-23 hold special events?
Our walls and holo-deco adopt certain themes throughout the year. We celebrate Christmas and End of FY, among other festivals.
Is Santa Claus present during Christmas?
Of course! He is scheduled to appear from mid-October.
This Dynamic Layout sounds interesting but what about my children since they’re a pain to shop with?
GLX-23 has a more traditional entertainment centre for children and crazy gamers so feel free to drop your children off for a few hours. Or even a few days. A food court and the hotel entrance are adjacent. Also, the aforementioned are constructed as one section so layout changes won’t affect that area. Easy!
Is it true that my children can win food?
Yes, points and credit can be earned with most games so your children can feed themselves and have boarding while you get lost shopping.
Please be aware there is some weirdo in black who likes to challenge other gamers. He is merciless but he is free to play like everyone else so there’s not much we can do about him.
If you have any questions, contact our COO and he’ll be happy to help.