Mr. Right is Definitely Out There // Short Story // Science Fiction // Ash Warren

Ash Warren backs up recent entries with a playful bit of click bait for the LINKBAIT AND SWITCH Science Fiction Short Story Contest.


Mr. Right is Definitely Out There // A Science Fiction Short Story by Ash Warren


‘You’re looking so hot tonight Melissa. I could eat you….’ Mike said as I entered the reception room.

‘That’s a little too aggressive, Mike. Adjust program.’ I replied.

‘Of course. That’s a rather nice dress. The color suits you.’ Mike responded quickly.

Pretty good interface I thought to myself.

‘Thank you Mike.’

‘You’re welcome Melissa.’

Looking for a chance to make new friends and find your new partner? That’s exactly what this cruise is all about. A chance to spend some quality time and really get to know your new significant other before you have to sign on the dotted line.

And I have to admit, it worked for me.

To this end I recently signed up for a 4 day/5 night singles cruise with INTER, the cyborg developers who have teamed up with Andromeda Tours for the purpose of us ladies being able to vet their new range of companion droids during a short cruise to four resort planets on the new VENUS VII. The VENUS of course, is the new ship from the Khardassion Line, which most people would agree has been a roaring success apart from last year’s fatalities in the Orion Belt.

The VENUS VII is equipped with all the latest holo-deck entertainment (did we really go anywhere?), several restaurants and bars, a gym and even a private transporter pad in your cabin for off-ship visits. And of course the food is excellent, varied and even quite real looking.

The trip started off with the usual get-to-know-you party in the main ballroom and I must admit I felt like a nervous freshman. Everybody was wearing their large green name tags and most of the women seemed to be already several sheets to the wind.

A rather large woman from Cyrees 9 grabbed me by the arm as I headed for the bar.

‘Hi honey! I’m Joan. Are you OK? Found anyone interesting?’ she bellowed over the music.

I nodded I was ok and said I was just browsing for the moment.

‘That’s fine honey. But I am already thinking about that one.’ She pointed at a rather louche looking ‘borg that was sitting at the bar in a muscle shirt and who looked like a professional cage fighter.

I nodded and smiled and watched her head to her prey, but I’ve got to say I’m not really into the sports types myself due to all the battery-life issues with my ex.

However, over dinner with some of the ladies and several candidates we invited to join us I must admit I was quite drawn to a 7 series DWV980 called James, who despite the price tag seemed to be just the ticket. A couple of the other women quite liked him too and pointed out the benefits of the free Sperm Donor and Super House-Husband upgrades that were available if you wanted to think about children in the future.

The rest of the trip was thus spent mainly with James as we took in the sights. On Janus 4 we hit the bars of New Tokyo for a lengthy pub-crawl, where someone blew on a conch shell every time we had to go to the next one. James and I did shots at the famous New Horizon Room on Sygma which I must admit was a lot of fun, and after I told him to retract his facial hair I realized he was even nicer smooth-shaven.

After a long afternoon spent trekking the desert ruins of the old Trybkk Fort on Celcion we enjoyed a romantic stroll along the Damaask Canal together while I tried out James’ selection of Romantic Conversation, which I found was more than up to the mark, and listened to some of his Humorous Anecdotes.

Well, it was the perfect way to make the big decision and James has been definitely worth the money. And it’s so much nicer being able to get to know each other outside of the rather sterile shop environment. I guess it’s really only by doing something like travelling together that you can really understand if you are suited to someone. Wouldn’t you say?