Mr Oguguomakwa Nnakeme
Director- Super Scam Pty Ltd
35 Kontagora Rd
Thank you for your letter. Despite my disappointment, I thank you for taking the time to respond to my application. I understand that the position of sub-editor carries with it great responsibility. I also appreciate that any suitable applicant for this position should have significant experience in the scam email industry. It is clear that I do not yet have the requisite knowledge to fulfil such a role. Further, I am aware that you would have had reservations about hiring an Australian rather than a local. After all, why would a foreigner want to travel so far for a job?
But you see, not all is as it seems. My name is not Steven Schmidt. It is Prince Steven Schmidt.
Why did I respond to your job advertisement? Well, growing up in an Australian palace meant that I was never given the choice to be anything but a prince. Each day I prayed that my father would allow me to become a writer when I grew up. But of course my father would neverallow it, and he often shook his head in shame at his son’s misguided dreams.
Lost and dejected, I let my dreams fall to the wayside for many years. One night, however, I came across your job listing and decided to send my application to you in secret. For fear of retribution by my father’s police service, I was forced to use a pseudonym and false credentials. But believe me now; this email contains nothing but truth.
The next day, I received a pressing phone call from my father, who had been travelling camel-back through the Kimberley region for the past year on a royal quest for gold. Aghast, I stood listening to my father tell me that the Australian sun had taken its toll on his body. He feared that he would soon die, but promised that his fortune would be mine.
It was then that I realised that this was my chance to escape the oppressive life of a prince! Finally I would be rid of this royal prison! I would simply disappear from the palace with my riches and start a new life of writing. No one would be able to find me and I would finally live in peace.
But not everything went to plan.
My father’s half-brother had grown jealous of his brother’s wealth for many years, and the news of his death came as a perfect opportunity for his revenge. Palace whispers told me that he had planned to poison me at the upcoming Australia Day feast in our grand Canberra palace. I realised that my time was running out. I needed to flee!
I do understand that I was unsuccessful in my application to work in your company. Perhaps I do need to refine my scam writing skills. However, I implore you to consider holding the amount of $50 billion for me while I flee to your country. Once I arrive, I will of course reimburse you with 30% of this amount. I only require the following information:
– Bank account number
– Bank account PIN
– Credit card imprint
– Social security number
– Blood type
I am coming to you for help, as you are now the only one that I can trust in this urgent time. The Australia Day feast is fast approaching and I live each day in fear of what will become of me if I do not escape.
For your safety, I ask that you do not tell anyone of this message and that you follow my instructions with haste. I am aware of prying eyes from my half-uncle’s spies.
Prince Steven Schmidt