‘The dinosaur or the dragon?’ asked the vampire.

‘It’ll probably be the dinosaur,’ said the Player before thrusting a wooden stake through Dracula’s heart.

The Player walked calmly through a pile of vampire dust.

‘Number 1,’ he shouted, ‘Come out from behind that barrel, it’s time to die.’

Zombie #1 jumped out from his hiding place and pointed a pump action shotgun at the Player.

‘Hi Player,’ said the zombie. ‘How’s things?’

‘Not bad. Haven’t got past the tyrannosaurus in the ballroom all week though.’

‘Oh, good luck with that.’

‘Cheers,’ said the Player as the zombie fell with half of his face missing. Another perfect shot.

The Player strode confidently through zombie blood and brain matter towards the doorway into a dim corridor.

‘#2?’ called the Player. ‘Are you around?’

Zombie #2 poked a gun from a doorway and hit the Player in the leg forcing him to take refuge in an empty storage room.

As the Player sat is a pool of his own blood he searched his pockets and found a vile of purple medicine. He gulped down the potion. Two seconds later the blood had clotted and he was feeling 100%.

‘Player?’ said the zombie as he lurched towards the open storage room door, ‘Say hi to the Count for me. I haven’t seen him all week.’

‘You might see him in the dungeon if I get past that bloody T-rex.’

‘Ha! You haven’t done that for ages.’

‘Yeah, well today might be the day.’

The zombie appeared in the open door way and raised his machine pistol but before he could fire the Player had blasted his left arm off then finished him with a gruesome head shot.

As the Player approached the end of the corridor he could smell blood and fear.

He leapt through an open door spraying bullets to his left.

A metallic roar came from behind him. He swung around and fired but it was already halfway across the room and the Player knew he wasn’t going to be quick enough.

He continued to fire but the tyrannosaurus pounced, pinning his legs to the floor.

The Player tried shooting it in the stomach but he ran out of ammo so had to resort to his hunting knife, the only weapon left in his arsenal.

Too little. Too late.

The Player died as the T-rex feasted on his innards.

It was a strange death, as they all were. There was a sense of failure and frustration but the Player didn’t think about an afterlife, of what was beyond, only of the tyrannosaurus and his need for a bigger gun.

…‘Hi Player.’

‘Hey Count.’

‘The dinosaur or the dragon?’ asked Dracula.

‘The dinosaur,’ said the Player. ‘#2 says hello by the way.’

‘Say hi from me if you see him.’

‘Will do,’ said the Player before thrusting a wooden stake through the vampire’s heart…