Maya had succeeded in avoiding her for several days. The first days were easy, of course. But then the phone calls had started, followed by the visits at the door. Maya had managed to ignore them all. But today, her luck had finally turned and Kara had trapped her in the alley that Maya always took on her way home from her office. Kara had known her route, of course, and must have been waiting for her. Maya cursed herself for being this sloppy.
Maya looked around, searching for possible ways out. The alley was small and obscure, the walls of the buildings towering high above them. Fire escapes were hanging above their heads and the walls were covered in graffiti. A big puddle of water, probably caused by a leaking roof-gutter, had flooded a large part of the street. The containers were filled with trash. Maya had never realized before how scary this alley actually was. The lack of witnesses made her suddenly feel very vulnerable.
“Maya?” Kara asked, “What is going on?”
“Nothing is going on, ” Maya answered, “why would there be?”
“Because you have been avoiding me, that’s why.”
“I haven’t been avoiding you, Kara, I…”
“Don’t lie to me, Maya, ” Kara suddenly snapped at her, the frustrations of the past days bubbling up, “you haven’t returned my calls and you haven’t answered your door when I knew you were in. In my dictionary, they call that ‘avoiding someone’!”
“Kara, I’m not trying to avoid you, I’m just trying to…not…be around you.”
Kara looked in total surprise at Maya, now that she had admitted that she was indeed avoiding her. For a moment, they remained in silence. Maya was too afraid to make her friend feel even more hurt, and Kara was simply too lost for words.
Eventually, Kara broke the silence and asked:
“Can I at least get an explanation why?”
“I…I’m sorry, I can’t tell.”
“Huh, how about that? Years of sharing anything with each other, and now this is what I get?”
“I’m really sorry, Kara, but if you knew, you would agree with me, trust me.”
“Well I can’t accept that. You are my best friend, Maya. Will you just throw that away like this?”
Maya didn’t answer.
“So what now? Are you going to quit the gym because I will be there?”
“Probably,” Maya said simply.
Kara was getting angry now: “And will you stop having coffees with me?”
Maya just nodded.
“And will you stop going out together to dance and pick up some guys?”
A tear welled from Maya’s eye.
“No more gossiping, no more sharing secrets? No more sleep overs? No more fun and laughs together?”
Maya cried openly now and Kara was more and more puzzled about the reasons why her friend wanted to stop seeing her.
“Was it something I have said, Maya?”
The crying girl shook her head, too emotional to speak anymore.
“Something I have done? Something someone else has said about me?”
“Nooooo” Maya cried aloud now.
“Then please tell me,” Kara begged the other girl, “don’t leave me in the dark like this!”
“I can’t, Kara. I just can’t…”
“Are you in trouble, girl?”
“Some kind of…”
“Oh my God, what did you do? And why has this to affect us?”
“Leave it like this, Kara, please. It’s better, believe me. Please.”
Suddenly, Kara pushed Maya against the wall and placed her arms on either side of the other girl’s body, effectively trapping her. Maya’s heart started to race and she felt a touch of panic rising.
“I’m not letting you go before you tell me!” Kara yelled, and started getting mad.
“Don’t make me, “ Maya wept, “ please don’t, Kara, for the sake of our friendship.”
“No,“ Kara said on a commanding tone, “you will tell me here and now or we won’t be leaving.”
Kara stood her ground and shook her head, waiting for the big secret to come out. She could see that Maya was a wreck, no longer trying to keep her tears inside and letting them flow freely. Kara almost gave in, as it was Maya’s life and if she could live with this…
But then her jaws clenched again and her combative spirit took the upper hand. She looked at Maya with determination, knowing that the girl must be on the verge of breaking and spilling everything out.
Then Maya felt her resistance break. The past few weeks, where things had changed so drastically for her and had made her days an ordeal of half-done work and missed deadlines, and her nights a living hell of tossing and cold-sweating, finally emerged in that single moment where she was trapped and put – literally- with her back against the wall, and she snapped.
She took her girlfriend’s cheeks in her hands and pulled Kara’s head towards her own, placing her lips on hers. She started kissing her hard, kissing her passionately, kissing her with all the feelings that had been built up in her torn body since she had fallen in love with Kara. She kissed her with force, she kissed her like no one before in her entire life. Maya knew it wasn’t like it was supposed to be, but she no longer cared about what people would think. She only wanted to feel Kara close and feel those lips she had dreamed of so many times. She knew that it would be their first and last kiss as their friendship would be certainly over now. But it was worth it, she had fulfilled her only goal left in life now.
And then, Kara started to kiss her back.